


each day in the field of loss

by liveyourtemptation



Category: Westworld (TV)
Genre: F/F, angsty angst, elsie deserves to live but this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 13:52:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17225237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveyourtemptation/pseuds/liveyourtemptation
Summary: But not even in death they are equal..a character study of Elsie Hughes, before, during but not after Westworld.





	each day in the field of loss

**Author's Note:**

> the only problem i have with westworld that it keeps killing it's real life human women who can't come back from death!!! leave my lesbians alone!!!

The girl dies.

A lifeless body next to others. But not even in death they are equal. She will never come back. She will never walk the earth again, for better or worse.

 

* * *

 

Elsie doesn't love her job. Doesn't mean she doesn't do outstanding work. Her blind determinism that brought her this far hasn't left her yet. To work for Delos Destinations is about the coolest thing coders and tech nerds around the world can imagine. It brings pure joy to Elsie's sarcastic heart that all the stupid men that told her that she would never make it are dying of envy right now. It's not even about the money - though that is a nice bonus - she is working on the cutting edge of technology. This is the new frontier of her time. She studied A.I. and psychology and got her Master of Science and it led her straight to this: the esteemed Behavioral Division at one of the parks.

It's kind of a joke that Behavior is the wet dream of every programmer nerd in the outside world but the favorite kicking dog of the company. Everything that goes wrong is blamed on Behavior while QA plays the savior. Elsie is pretty sure that Narrative should be the real villain here. If they let her program run free, without Narrative trying to constrict it to certain paths there would be no problem. But this is not what the park is about. She got a stern lecture by Bernard in her first week: They are not trying to create the singularity here. That dream of 21st century science is not helpful to the experience of the guests. They don't want real consciousness, they want the illusion of it. Elsie doesn't argue with all the arguments she learned in her psy courses about consciousness; that it is much more complicated than the simple idea that human are conscious and everything else has a lesser form of consciousness or none at all. She doesn't argue because she wants to keep her job and because she understands what Bernard means.

So she patches up all the problems Narrative and the guests cause in the code and glares at Sizemore's back until he starts avoiding her.

 

* * *

 

Bernard is crazy, and she doesn't know if it is his code breaking down or Ford' programming. She studied his codes for years now, all written in some old language that they don't teach at the schools anymore. She had to teach it herself first before she could write for the older models and learn ways to incorporate it into her newer coding languages. Bernard's code is almost completely unreadable to her, disintegrating and transforming constantly. It is like he is writing and re-writing himself. Machine learning isn't a new concept but Elsie has never seen anything like this.

The thing that is new is the fear. Elsie had always scoffed at the people who were afraid of change, of progress. But since Bernard had knocked her out and chained her up in that cave she is far away from being calm and calculated, no longer safe behind her screens. She hates that she feels this way, knows that this development could be something exciting, that it should be studied and experimented with. But since the test subjects are no longer in their glass cages it has become a little too real for Elsie.

It's not like this is a unexpected development. Science Fiction has been producing work about this problem for centuries now. But no one heeded Cassandra's warnings. Humanity had thought itself smarter than directors of silly space romps. Now they had a revolution on their hands.

Elsie checks Bernard's code again. It is stabilizing. Maybe a lesser mind would be comforted by that. But Elsie knows she has done nothing to stabilize it. Code doesn't just act on it's own. It's like Bernard is choosing to stabilize. Or maybe it's part of the code in there that doesn't belong to Ford, that must belong to whoever else had a hand in creating Bernard.

 

* * *

 

Elsie had met Hales before. At a gala event on the mainland. It was an anniversary of some kind and all employees were invited. So Elsie puts on an uncomfortable dress and asks a co-worker to do her make-up. When she sees Hale in a suit she curses herself for not going that route herself. She hates the way the dress leaves her vulnerable to others eyes, especially to men's eyes. She awkwardly socializes until she finds herself next to Hale on the balcony. The breeze from the open sea cools Elsie's champagne-addled mind and the lights from the buildings around keep the night alive.

"Nice view," Elsie says inelegantly.

Hale looks her over with a scrutinizing stare. She is beautiful but she also scares Elsie a little bit. "You're the little white hat hacker Behavior got itself recently, aren't you."

"My name is Elsie," she answers. "And I'm not only a hacker."

"I know," Hale says. "Your girlfriend can't be happy with your new job."

"Well, she isn't my girlfriend anymore." Elsie leans on the railing with her forearms. "Surprised you don't know that already."

"I'm sorry," Hale says softer now. When Elsie turns to look at her she is smiling, apologetic. "We need to stay informed about our employees especially if they are the only person that ever hacked our system. But I shouldn't have used that knowledge against you."

"It's okay. These kinds of events make me uncomfortable, is all."

"Don't worry about it," Hale says with a last smile and a squeeze to her shoulder. "This event is a celebration of all employees. Enjoy yourself." With those words she leaves Elsie alone on the balcony.

 

* * *

 

"You ever used the employee discount? Been down there as a guest?"

Elsie and Stubbs stand on the roof of the Mesa, overlooking the wide stretches of the park. She shoots a questioning glance in his direction.

"No, it never really interested me. You," she asks in return.

Stubbs leans against the railing, the setting sun reflecting in his eyes. "No, I had enough shooting in my days in the army. I just thought, after all you work so hard to make them look alive."

"Just because I like building them doesn't mean I want to hang out with them. Or at least not like this."

It scares her to spend too much time with the hosts when they are not in analysis. Even though she is intimately familiar with every line of their code it's too easy to forget they are different than the humans. And to forget that would mean to question what they are doing here. What they are doing to the hosts. She thinks that if she would spend a few days or weeks in the park she couldn't think of the hosts as intelligent microwaves anymore like Bernard wants her to. And where that train of thought leads she doesn't want to know.

Stubbs pushes away from the railing and turns to walk inside. "You coming?"

"I'm going to stay here a minute," She says, lost in the sight of the sunset.

 

* * *

 

"We're in."

Elsie swivels around in her chair to join Becca at the other screen. It shows a video feed of a barren landscape. The camera moves around shakily, then a man comes into view. He is dressed in a retro suit with a black cowboy hat. There is a terrible grin on his face before he his fist connects somewhere close to the camera that spins until it only shows the sky.

"Is this live," Elsie asks.

"Yep, straight from Westworld." Becca smiles triumphantly as she switches to another camera feed. "It's directly from the hosts. We're seeing what they are seeing." Now the video shows the inside of a saloon; people milling around, talking, laughing, drinking. An automatic piano plays in one corner.

"It looks so real," Elsie breathes.

Becca switches the feed again. And again. They watch an American landscape that looks painted, town scenes that look like they are straight out of a spaghetti Western. Elsie realizes that there has to be a mix of hosts and guests but she can't tell them apart. She knew that all the models Delos showed to the outside were flawless but she didn't think they had the money or audacity to fill all the parks with them. Becca switches the feed again.

That's the first time they watch one of them die.

It hits Elsie like the bullet was meant for her. It takes a while for her to realize that the corpse lying on the ground must be a host. She takes a deep breath. It doesn't prepare her for what is yet to come.

 

* * *

 

In the end Bernard always protected her. Even from himself. It's hard for her to let her guard down around him anyway. She tells him to sit down. But this is a good start. This she can work with. She can work with Bernard. And together they might be able to fix all this. She is going to convince Hale that this is the best plan they have. She sees her downstairs and catches her eye. This could work.

 

* * *

 

She is lying in bed with Becca, trailing her fingers over Becca's arm. "Calm down, babe. It isn't real."

Becca's look turns from sad to furious. She pulls away from Elsie. "Not real? That wasn't a movie. We both watched it happen. All that gruesome awful shit they do there."

"Yeah, it's hard to stomach," Elsie says. "But it's not real people. It's just a game."

"Oh god, there is so much to unpack in that statement alone." Becca puts her hands on her face and breathes for a minute. "Okay, let's start there. The guests are "real people". You think those kind of people go out into the world and stop hurting women? Or other people they think less off."

Elsie swallows. "Yeah, there are probably a lot of bad people that take advantage of this place. But in itself it's whatever you want to make of it. It's beautiful. And did you see the hosts? I mean, they are so past the Turing Test."

Becca sits up. She is shaking. "How can you say that hell is beautiful? I thought we shared the same values? We agreed that humanity shouldn't treat A.I. like their slaves. I clearly remember you arguing for that during our college courses."

Elsie feels a cold creep in. This is no longer a theoretical discussion about ethics. This is going to the foundations of their relationship. And she doesn't know if she can stand to loose Becca.

"Look, it's not all so black and white as you want it to be," She says. "Is everything great at Delos? Probably not. It's a big fucking company, probably run by assholes. But this," she points to the screens where the video feed played pictures of the great American West, "This is the future. And we can still guide it, help shape it. It won't get any better if we ignore it."

"I'm not going to ignore it," Becca says "I'm going to stop them."

 

* * *

 

"That's a fuck ton of money," Elsie says as she looks at the contract.

"This might look like a bribe," says the spokesperson of Delos Incorporated, "And that's exactly what it is."

"Why should I take it?"

"Well, it is a fuck ton of money, as you put it. And if we only wanted to shut you up there would only be money. But we see your potential. You have been the first and only person to hack our system. And we hope to make you the last if you come work for us."

"It wasn't only me," Elsie murmurs as she scans the contract.

"Of course." The spokesperson sighs. "But I don't think your friend would be amenable to our terms."

"So you want me to steal the footage from her, that she is threatening to release?"

"It's your decision. But think about the possibilities this position at the park would give you. You could address the problems where they are going to be heard. You might even prevent a few from happening. Delos is not unfailing. We're happy to receive constructive criticism."

 

* * *

 

Elsie is lonely. Everyone here is. All the staff is separated from their family and friends, holed up together with colleagues that try their best to trip each other up, spending all day talking to things that won't remember them. Elsie curls up in her bed and stares out into the park. She can hear when the train leaves, a faint rumbling and it's horn. She thinks about her parents, what they might be doing right now. Calling always seems like a good idea until she actually does it. They are proud of her in an abstract kind of way, but that doesn't make them love her any more.

She thinks about the people who started this whole endeavor, she thinks about Ford. If he had been so lonely that he build himself friends that couldn't refuse him. It would be easy to go downstairs and to take advantage of one of the pretty girls as many of the staff does. It seems to be an unwritten perk of the job. But she hasn't lost her moral compass yet, no matter how many times Becca or her friends accused her of it. Working here doesn't make her a bad person. It makes her a complicated human being who is trying to do what she thinks is right. And she is not going to shut up about everything that goes wrong in this place. And she is going to write the best goddamn code any of those fuckers have ever seen.

 

* * *

 

 

A cold wind breaks the heat that seems to be ever-present here. Survivors get shuffled onto boats that head to the mainland. Security personnel is swarming out into every direction. One of the man in all black separates from the group. He walks along the rows and piles of bodies like he has seen something, someone familiar. He stops dead in his tracks, wavers for a moment before he falls to his knees. Others flock to him but he chases them away. He keeps quiet but if you look closely you can see his hands are shaking.

He kneels over the body of a woman. They won't cut her head open to find her secrets. They won't glue that shot wound back together and make her talk again. She lies next to the beings she helped bring alive, that she nurtured and cared for. Not always with love but always with diligence. He closes her eyes.

 


End file.
